Addiction & Recovery
I hunger
deep, pervasive, insatiable
the thought to get high
is a black hole in my mind
that pulls everything else into it
I have trained my mind
by many pleasant episodes
that using is the greatest thing on earth
my mind believes this to be true
and will not let go of it
Every cell in my body
believes it too
Now it is too late
the painful evidence mounts
and has mounted for some time
but the mind will not listen
I use, I regret
I use, I regret
and on and down goes the vicious cycle
until I am at hopelessness
despair...
Until I surrender
When the pain is too great
When the price is too high
When suffering has made me reasonable
and open-minded at long last
I face the disaster my life has become
I feel the pain
I take responsibility
I ask for help
Now it has changed from an "I" issue
to a "we" issue
we cannot recover, alone
we don't have the strength, alone
we don't have the awareness, alone
we don't have the skills, alone
We are all so clever that we use our own intelligence
against ourselves
We buy our own con, and don't see it
that is why we are so vulnerable alone
We need mirrors of ourselves
so we can see what we have been doing
We need encouragement
because we've been demoralized by our illness
because we've been so cynical and fatalistic
because we don't believe in ourselves
We need understanding
because we are so inhumane towards ourselves
because we are human
We need validation
because it is not easy to change a decades long habit
because the climb is not always uphill
We need a higher power
because our priorities are not right
because we have been lost and bewildered
because we cannot carry the whole load by ourselves
We need the answer
Love
We used to think it was: "We want, and we want to keep, what makes us feel good."
very childish, very human, even very innocent,
but that is not true Love
We need a spiritual awakening
We need the perpetual awareness
That we are priceless, precious beings
no more and no less than anyone else
and, that everyone else is priceless and precious too
Now we are spiritually reoriented correctly
and we have a new healthy ambition and calling
We must think and act in such ways
that honor our value and that of each other
This is our lifelong, day by day, challenge
But it is the greatest endeavor in life
It is the one by which we will find freedom from addiction
at last!
Love, truly is, the answer...
deep, pervasive, insatiable
the thought to get high
is a black hole in my mind
that pulls everything else into it
I have trained my mind
by many pleasant episodes
that using is the greatest thing on earth
my mind believes this to be true
and will not let go of it
Every cell in my body
believes it too
Now it is too late
the painful evidence mounts
and has mounted for some time
but the mind will not listen
I use, I regret
I use, I regret
and on and down goes the vicious cycle
until I am at hopelessness
despair...
Until I surrender
When the pain is too great
When the price is too high
When suffering has made me reasonable
and open-minded at long last
I face the disaster my life has become
I feel the pain
I take responsibility
I ask for help
Now it has changed from an "I" issue
to a "we" issue
we cannot recover, alone
we don't have the strength, alone
we don't have the awareness, alone
we don't have the skills, alone
We are all so clever that we use our own intelligence
against ourselves
We buy our own con, and don't see it
that is why we are so vulnerable alone
We need mirrors of ourselves
so we can see what we have been doing
We need encouragement
because we've been demoralized by our illness
because we've been so cynical and fatalistic
because we don't believe in ourselves
We need understanding
because we are so inhumane towards ourselves
because we are human
We need validation
because it is not easy to change a decades long habit
because the climb is not always uphill
We need a higher power
because our priorities are not right
because we have been lost and bewildered
because we cannot carry the whole load by ourselves
We need the answer
Love
We used to think it was: "We want, and we want to keep, what makes us feel good."
very childish, very human, even very innocent,
but that is not true Love
We need a spiritual awakening
We need the perpetual awareness
That we are priceless, precious beings
no more and no less than anyone else
and, that everyone else is priceless and precious too
Now we are spiritually reoriented correctly
and we have a new healthy ambition and calling
We must think and act in such ways
that honor our value and that of each other
This is our lifelong, day by day, challenge
But it is the greatest endeavor in life
It is the one by which we will find freedom from addiction
at last!
Love, truly is, the answer...
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